Making Holidays Meaningful for Children

When my daughter, Isabel, was four, her favorite holiday book was The Berenstein Bears Meet Santa Bear. She quickly memorized Sister Bear’s wish list for Santa, and she’d chime in as I read it aloud.

“Dear Santa please send me: a happy pink pony, a clown mobile, giggly goo, a bubble pipe, a birthstone ring,” and on it goes. In fact, the list is so long, Sister Bear has to scotch tape eight sheets of paper together to get everything in!

For many children the holidays mean just one thing: getting more stuff. As parents, we want to change this perspective, but when we try to modify our habits, we find ourselves controlled by unconscious gift giving rules. These “hidden rules” keep the tradition elaborate and expensive.

How many of these beliefs have a hold on you?
--I must buy a gift for everyone I might get one from;
--homemade gifts are more meaningful than store bought ones;
--gifts I give my children should be equal in number and monetary value, while at the same time suiting the unique qualities of each child.

No wonder we’ve squeezed the joy out of gift giving! Think back to a holiday past and a gift you received that was special to you. I’d be willing to bet that it was special because someone shared in a personal way with you. My most memorable gift was a sled my grandfather made for me when I was eight. He designed the sled himself and made it in his basement workshop.

The sled was really just a little box on runners. It in no way matched the splendor of the shiny red one I had my eye on in the Penney’s catalogue. But oh I loved that sled, and all those Saturday afternoons when my grandfather shooed me out his workshop made it just that much more special when the day finally arrived that I unwrapped it.